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RANDOM THOUGHTS

Mental Health (And a welcome back!)

22/4/2023

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​Mental health is a funny thing.

This last year, mine has been very up and down. And it has affected my writing (you may have noticed this blog went dormant).

This is new territory for me – writing has been an outlet for me as long as I can remember, and I’ve never had a block like the one I’ve experienced this past year. I either can’t write at all, or anything I do write feels subpar and my anxiety overwhelms me and I can’t post it.

This last year, I moved out of my parents’ home and started renting in Wimbledon with my best friend. I started a new job at a marketing agency, taking a break from journalism to regroup after a string of rejections throughout the pandemic – it’s a job I never saw myself doing but I enjoy it and have now moved into a senior role. I threw myself back into dating and started a relationship. The last couple months, it feels like everything is coming together again and I’m finally starting to find my peace.

Writing feels good again. I feel good again.

Part of this is down to learning how to take control of my anxiety. Before moving, I was in counselling for a year, and it really helped me to nail down where my anxieties came from and what would trigger me into a spiral of anxiety and depression. I learnt some tools to help me work through the spiral and not end up feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts. However, putting this into practice has been a challenge. For the first six months of 2022 I struggled using them and was still trying to figure out how to even recognise the spiral was starting. Once I was able to recognise the pattern and notice how I would feel at the beginning of a spiral, it then took a couple more months to know how to use these tools effectively. Now, I can (mostly!).

There are still times where I can’t quite pull myself out in time, but those are becoming a lot less frequent. I have also learnt when I need to let myself feel those feelings and just take a day to ride it out – sometimes this feels a lot better.

I’m only at the beginning of this journey, and I know it will take a long time to fully be in control of my mental health, but it feels good to know I’m progressing instead of standing still.

It also feels good to write about it.
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Happy 2022!

9/1/2022

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Wow.
 
2022 is here! And I, for one, am feeling eerily optimistic about the year ahead.
 
Next week I start a new job and I move out of my parents’ house and into a flat in London with one of my closest friends. After being stuck in a weird limbo for the last almost-two years, I finally feel like I’m moving forward and my life is beginning.
 
I’m taking fantastic people with me into the new year and I hope to spend as much time as I can with them, to make up for what we lost during the pandemic.
 
I am filled with new motivation and creativity that I haven’t felt since leaving university – speaking of, I will finally get a graduation this year!
 
There’s something about this year that I can’t quite put my finger on, but I feel lighter and more optimistic than I have felt in a long time and I cannot wait to see what happens.
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The Knight Before Christmas

22/12/2021

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​I have watched a lot of cheesy Christmas films in my time, and this is by far the strangest. However, I could not stop looking at it.
 
Cole (Josh Whitehouse) is a squire in medieval Norwich, who, whilst on a quest, goes through a portal and lands in modern-day Ohio. I will never understand why the portal took him to a place that didn’t even exist at that time, let alone the fact that it is in a completely different country. Logistics aside, Cole appears in Ohio and is almost run over by Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens – yes this is a classic Hudgens event). She takes him in, teaches him about the modern world, and then they, of course, fall in love. Cole then has to decide whether he wants to go back to Norwich or stay in Ohio with Brooke. I’m pretty sure you know how this ends!
 
I will be honest, I forgot most of what happened in this movie immediately after I finished watching it, which I think says a lot. However, despite the stilted acting and the very loose storyline, the film definitely has its endearing moments.
 
One moment that does stick out to me, which has sent me down a little bit of a conspiracy hole even though it was literally thirty seconds long, was a scene where they sat down to watch a movie. They were, of course, using Netflix and decided to watch The Christmas Prince – Netflix’s biggest Christmas rom-com trilogy (and one of my cheesy favourites). This suggests that The Knight Before Christmas takes place in our universe as they are watching the same films as us. It is completely ridiculous, but this small detail has actually kept me up at night wondering how all the Netflix originals potentially interact, but that’s for another time!
 
Although this is a bad, bad film, it is not Vanessa Hudgens’s worst (I think we all know which movie that is) and it is enjoyable. Plus the ending is extremely romantic, which is all we really want from films like this.
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Father Christmas Is Back

22/12/2021

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​This is a bad movie I mostly enjoyed. It has an impressive cast – Kelsey Grammar, Elizabeth Hurley, John Cleese, to name a few – and a great premise. Four daughters, who don’t particularly like each other, reunite for Christmas at their family home where their long-estranged father shows up unannounced. Oh, and their last name is Christmas.
 
There are some fun jokes and scenes in the film, but most happen in the first half and then the last half runs dry. The acting is okay for the most part, although the main sister, Caroline, is incredibly annoying and kept making this strange squeaking noise.
 
The storyline does lose itself slightly along the way. What starts out as four very different sisters trying to get along and then being disturbed by the man that abandoned them, turns into three different twists and subplots in the last twenty minutes. It is quite overwhelming, and very disjointed. Also, all the twists cause a lot of drama that is solved extremely quickly, mostly because everyone overreacted in the first place.
 
This is a classic family disaster Christmas film. It has a good level of cheesiness, and the ending is heart-warming. It’s a great terrible Christmas film that’s a bit of fun to watch on the run up to the big day.
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LoveHard

22/12/2021

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For Christmas, I have decided to watch some terrible Christmas films. I love a bad Christmas film, the cheesier the better, and streaming services mean I can watch all the Hallmark-style ones I want.
 
We’re kicking off Christmas week with Netflix’s new holiday film LoveHard; I did not expect this film to be bad, the trailer made it look great! But this film was frustrating beyond belief.
 
This is all to do with the main character, Natalie, played by Nina Dobrev. I don’t know how, but I always end up hating every character she plays – they are all self-involved, hypocritical, and always manage to make themselves the victim – and this film is no different.
 
I think this is the first time I have watched a rom-com and haven’t wanted the two main characters to end up together. Natalie is awful to Josh (played by Jimmy O. Yang) and manages to completely contradict herself throughout the whole movie. Their relationship starts with her saying she hates Love Actually because everyone in that movie is superficial and only fall in love based on looks (which I completely disagree with by the way), only for her to drop Josh and pursue Tag (Darren Barnett) based entirely on how each of the men look.
 
Now, I do agree with how angry she gets at Josh catfishing her by using Tag’s photo, and I love that they manage to help him get over his insecurities. But during this process he is helping her completely change her personality so that Tag will date her, even though she hates every single thing that he is into.
 
She catfishes Tag, in a worse way than Josh catfishes her! Then gets annoyed when Tag finds out! Only to completely humiliate Josh in the process!
 
So, whilst the acting may not be bad, and the storyline may be fun (and it opens up a larger conversation on catfishing and modern dating), I hated watching this movie. If they removed Natalie I think I may enjoy it more.
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Bee Clean for the Planet

27/10/2021

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In the age of Covid, we’ve all become a lot more aware of how many things our hands touch and how dirty they could possibly be. Finding a soap that not only kills bacteria but doesn’t dry out your hands is a struggle that many of us have been through.
 
Well, your struggle is over! A couple of months ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a local Yorkshire soap brand who are not only conscious about the quality of your skin, but also about the planet (which always scores extra points with me!).
 
Bee Clean make natural and sustainable soaps straight out of their kitchen – yes that’s right, they’re handmade! They use locally-sourced honey and essential oils in their soaps, and they package the bars with recyclable materials. They also support eco-charities, mainly the Bumblebee Conservation Trust, where they send 10% of their profits. By doing this they support the planet and local producers – what could be wrong with that?
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​I had to try these soaps. I’ve been using them for a couple of months now and WOW. I love the scents; they are strong, and they last (which is great if you like that sort of thing). I’ve also noticed a change in my skin. My hands don’t dry out nearly as much anymore. And I also feel good knowing that I’m using an environmentally-friendly product.
 
I tried the Honey and Peppermint Tea, Geranium Rose, and the Carrot and Honey bar. I love a fragrant soap and the Peppermint and Geranium ones are certainly fragrant! For me, the smell of a soap always creates a sense of luxury – if it smells good, I will always feel like I’m treating myself. These bars make me feel like I’m in a spa!
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​The Carrot and Honey bar is an interesting one for me. This bar is unscented, so for those of you who don’t like smelly soaps, this is perfect. Even though I prefer my soap to have a scent, I still enjoyed using this bar! There is a slight scent to the bar itself, but it didn’t transfer to my hands at all. If this sounds like the soap for you, Bee Clean are currently doing a Halloween Bundle gift bag that includes the Carrot and Honey soap bar, plus a lip balm and lotion bar (the lotion bar comes in some fantastic Halloween theme shapes!).
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​Bee Clean have a fantastic range, and they don’t stop at soap. They also make scrubs, lotion bars, lip balms, and shaving soap and accessories, plus they’re working on even more products. They are so reasonably priced it’s almost unbelievable and some of their scents are intriguing to say the least (beer scented, anyone?).
 
Make sure to give this Yorkshire business some love, and you will be helping our bees and planet too! If you do, make sure to use the code* NIAMH10 at checkout for 10% off your order.
 
Give them a follow (@BeeCleanSoaps on Facebook and Instagram)!
 
*this is not an affiliate link.
Images by Erin Hutchings
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International Women's Day 2020 - I #ChoosetoChallenge the Gender Pay Gap

8/3/2021

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For International Women’s Day, I wanted to talk about Equal Pay Day, something that is very important but not many people know about (in the UK at least). The date of Equal Pay Day (EPD) changes every year and is celebrated slightly differently in each country, but at its core it is a day that recognises the gender pay gap.
 
In the UK, EPD usually falls in November and it marks the day that women effectively would stop earning money for the year if they were paid the same hourly amount as men when they reached their pay amount. For example, if a man earns £12.50 an hour to make £26,000 a year, a woman earning £12.50 an hour at the same rate would reach her salary of £22,204 by November for doing the same job.
 
The Fawcett Society calculate this each year by taking the full-time mean average gender pay gap across all companies and workers to work out EPD. In 2018, that day was November 10th. In 2019 it was November 14th. In 2020 it was November 20th.
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​Luckily, this shows that the gender pay gap is closing in the UK. However, the gap is still 11.5% for full-time workers according to the Fawcett Society, which is still way too high and shows that we still have a long way to go.
 
The USA and Germany celebrate EPD slightly differently. They mark it as the day women make as much as men did in the last year. For example, if a man earnt €26,000 between January and December 2019, women in the same roles won’t meet the same €26,000 until March or April 2020.
 
Germany is shown to have one of the biggest gender pay gaps in Europe. In a report gathered by DeutscheWelle, in2018 women made 20% less than men, and this only went down by 1% in 2019. As EPD has not happened yet, their gap is yet to be released for 2020. For comparison, the EU has an average 15% gender pay gap across the bloc, went down to 14.5% in 2019 and then 14.1% in 2020.
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​In the USA, there is the March EPD for women, but there are also four other EPD that cover Asian-American women, African and Black American women, Native American women, and Latinx women. In 2019, these days were (in list order) March 5th, August 22nd, September 23rd, and November 20th. Mothers also have a separate day – in 2018 this was June 10th.
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​This year, the average day will fall on March 24th. Women earnt $0.82 for every dollar men earnt last year.
 
The gender pay gap isn’t going to go away quickly. This is only a brief overview on how big the problem is. This year’s theme for International Woman’s Day is Choose to Challenge – this year I choose to challenge gender pay disparity and will be educating myself on this issue as much as I can over the next year. I will also be marking as many Equal Pay Days this year as I can. I urge you to do the same. It is only when we work together that we can stop injustice and disparity in the world.
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Day #28 - The Kissing Booth 2

28/2/2021

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Noah is off at Harvard starting is new life as a college student, but Elle is determined not to dwell on that - her and Noah are meant to be, right? Everything is about to get a lot more complicated, though. New student Marco, Rachel not liking Elle tagging along on her dates with Lee, questions about college, and Noah's new friend Chloe, all start to put a strain on Elle and her relationships with the Flynn boys.

I feel so sorry for Elle in this movie, life came at this girl HARD. A long distance relationship with potential cheating, choosing between going to college with her best friend or her boyfriend, and having a tiny crush on new boy Marco? That's a lot for someone to handle during their final year at school. I fully don't understand how she kept it as together as she did. When she breaks down at Thanksgiving, I was not surprised in the slightest.

But honestly the person I feel sorry for most in this movie is Rachel, Lee's girlfriend. Their relationship takes a more central role in this film compared to the first one. I feel like the film tries to make her look like the bad guy in the situation, but I can totally see where she's coming from. She obviously supports and understands Lee and Elle's extremely close friendship, but of course it puts a strain on her relationship with Lee. And then Lee lies about asking Elle to give them space, which creates a whole unnecessary argument between the girls. And he constantly forgets about her. I don't know why she kept that relationship going.

However, the real question at the end of this film is are you team Noah or team Marco? Personally, I'm team Marco. He's basically Noah but better.  Noah was worse in this movie. He kept lying about Chloe, and then got all annoyed that Elle assumed they were sleeping together; if I was Elle, I would have come to the exact same conclusion.

I have so many thoughts about this film, but I will end it here. Besides, The Kissing Booth 3 is supposed to come out this year! If Netflix can do anything, it's a good romcom trilogy.
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And with that, the month ends and the challenge is over! I hope you enjoyed reading along, and hopefully you found a new favourite movie.
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Day #27 - The Kissing Booth

27/2/2021

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This was another movie that was part of the Netflix rom com era article!
Elle and Lee were born at the same time on the same day and have been best friends ever since, completely inseparable, and they have a list of rules to keep it that way. Their friendship is put to the test when Elle secretly starts dating Lee's older brother, Noah. He is dark and unpredictable, but is he worth risking the most important relationship in her life? Only time will tell.

Originally a Wattpad novel (officially published when the author was 15, btw), this movie is cheesy, it's predictable and it's nostalgic - if you miss reading fan-fiction, then this is the movie for you. The Kissing Booth is the epitome of everything we ever loved about fan-fiction as tweens (note that this isn't fan-fiction, it's just written in the style of one).

This is your basic high school teen romance between two people who should not be together but somehow manage to find their way to each other. It's comfortable, and it's an easy watch. I honestly don't know what I can say about this movie without giving away the plot too much!

This was released around the same time as TATBILB, and whilst I related to Lara Jean, I do not relate to Elle at all. The only thing we have in common is our height. She's popular, sporty, confident and assertive. This doesn't make her any less lovable though. She's sweet, she's kind and she would do absolutely anything for the people she loves. She's a fantastic heroine.

Lee and Noah, despite having only a year between them, are polar opposites to each other. Noah is moody, whilst Lee is a literal ray of sunshine. I'm never sure if I actually like Noah, but I do love Lee. And I love watching Lee and Elle's friendship play out on screen.

Tell you what's better than The Kissing Booth - The Kissing Booth 2! Look out for tomorrow for the final review and another great sequel.
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Day #26 - Love Wedding Repeat

26/2/2021

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Jack just wants his sister, Hayley, to have the perfect wedding day. This includes drugging someone who wants to ruin it. He also wants to rekindle the flames of a lost potential love. How many ways can it go wrong? Turns out, a lot.

I have a love-hate relationship with this film. It is basically in two halves. Both halves could be their own movie - it's as if the writers wrote two different stories and couldn't decide which one they liked best, so they smashed them together and added an awkward, sped-up transition scene.

I think the thing that most annoys me about this film is that it has such a fantastic cast who are all clearly passionate about the film, it was just executed badly. The concept of the film is really interesting; playing with fate and chance, what happens at a wedding depends on where eight people sit at a table. The fact that only two realities are shown and the rest are shown in a really weird, fast-paced montage takes away from the point of the film.

I love the first half, showing the first reality. It's so funny, the characters play off each other so well and the storyline is a very classic comedy of miscommunication. It has such a great flow and then, suddenly, it stops, rewinds and we are sent into an alternate reality where everyone gets a happy ending. If only they had put the happy ending after the first reality then this could have been a great, classic romcom. If only they had gone into more of the alternate storylines a little more then they could have made a truly great movie.

But they didn't. There was so much that I wanted from this film. I probably had too high expectations based on the cast and the trailers. It was disappointing, which is a real shame.

The idea of the different timelines still intrigues me, though. Hopefully, one day, someone can make it happen, successfully.
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    Hi! I'm Niamh, and welcome to my blog!
    I am a freelance journalist writing her musings on politics, social change and pop culture - maybe you'll like what you read!

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